


This is All My Heart Demands

by strawbebbyy



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-04-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23574634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/strawbebbyy/pseuds/strawbebbyy
Summary: Akira slides the lid off the box in total silence. Five pieces of chocolate sit nestled inside, and he spends a moment just looking at them. Across the table, Ryuji feels like he might combust; like an ant under a magnifying glass on a sunny day.Slowly, Akira turns his eyes up to meet Ryuji’s. Ryuji looks away.“Ryuji… is this a confession?” He asks, in an echo of their conversation last year when Ryuji’d given Akira a single piece of chocolate that a store clerk had given him.It wasn’t a confession last year, but it should’ve been.This year, it is.----Ryuji confesses, finally.
Relationships: Kurusu Akira/Sakamoto Ryuji, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakamoto Ryuji
Comments: 14
Kudos: 284





	This is All My Heart Demands

**Author's Note:**

> I've been playing p5r and you know I've been thinkin about the boys the whole time....

Ryuji stares at the message on his phone screen, sent to the (former) Phantom Thieves group chat.

_ I’m back in Tokyo. Surprise! _

Akira’s in town.

Ryuji knew Akira was coming to visit this weekend. He was the only person Akira had told - it was supposed to be a surprise. Ryuji has been counting down the days in anticipation. Knowing this was coming still doesn’t change how downright giddy he feels when he reads the message, though.

It’s already late, and Ryuji knows Akira’s probably tired from the trip to the city - if the timestamp on his message is to be believed, he only got in about an hour ago. But dammit, he’s thrilled his best friend is back in town and there’s something he needs to do. So here he is, on the train to Yongen despite the late hour. He’d already messaged Akira to see if it was ok that he stop by. He just has to not lose his nerve between now and when he gets to Leblanc. 

That’s easier said than done.

He’d convinced himself this was a good idea weeks ago, as soon as he’d found out Akira’s visit would align with Valentine’s day. It was so easy to have confidence in this plan back then, but now that he’s on the train with the small yellow box of homemade chocolate in his pocket, he finds he’s getting cold feet. This might be a stupid idea after all. He can’t not show up though, Akira already knows he’s coming over. Maybe he can say he just wanted to see Akira as soon as possible and make the most of his time in Tokyo. That’s not a lie, Ryuji really  _ doesn’t  _ wanna wait until tomorrow to hang out. It’s just… not the full truth, either.

The streets of Yongen are quiet. It’s a short walk from the station to Leblanc, and Ryuji forgets about his stupid plan the closer he gets, nerves being pushed to the back of his mind in favor of the sheer joy he feels in knowing he’s only a few minutes from seeing Akira for the first time since his last visit in August.

The uncertainty catches back up to him when he stops right outside Leblanc, hand clasped around the box in his pocket. The dumb candy better not have melted in there. He should’ve just gotten a piece of store-bought chocolate like last year. Better yet, he shouldn’t have gotten anything at all. As if it’s a normal thing to make handmade chocolate for your best bro on Valentine’s day… holy fuck, what was he thinking? He’s gotta be out of his mind, he’s sure of that.

He doesn’t get to dwell on that thought for too long, though, because before he can even lift his hand to knock on the door, it’s swinging open. The bell above the door chimes and warm air drifts out, carrying the scent of coffee.

“Hey, Ryuji.” Akira’s standing in the doorway, one hand on the doorknob. “Long time, no see.” A grin blossoms across Akira’s face as he steps out into the cold evening air to hug Ryuji.

“Hey, dude!” Akira is backlit by the soft orange light spilling from within the cafe; Ryuji admires the way it casts a halo around his form and glints off the snowflakes caught in his dark hair. His heart feels so full he thinks it might burst.

“Alright, are you gonna come inside, or do you wanna stand out in the snow all night?”

“I dunno, haven’t made up my mind yet.” Ryuji says, stepping into Leblanc.

“I’ll make you curry.”

“Dude, are you bribin’ me?” He spots a familiar black and white figure on one of the tables. “Nice to see you, Morgana.” He places a hand on top of the cat’s head and ruffles his fur.

“Don’t be so rough!” Morgana complains, ducking out of Ryuji’s reach.

He watches as Akira walks behind the counter, shuffling through the refrigerator for curry ingredients. 

“You don’t have to actually make curry, man.”

“I want to. Cooking is a labor of love, you know. Besides, I haven’t eaten all day.”

A labor of love, huh? Ryuji thinks of the chocolate in his pocket. Making it was a labor of love, too, but not really the same kind of love. He slides onto one of the stools at the counter, catching a glimpse of a black and white tail disappearing up the stairs in the back of the cafe.

“Shujin sucks without you.” He admits. “Makoto and Haru graduated last year, Futaba don’t go to school, and Yusuke’s still goin’ to Kosei. I spend all my time at school with Ann and Mishima.”

“Sorry. If I had my choice, I’d be going to Shujin with you.” Akira gives him an apologetic look. “Most people back home still avoid me because of the whole assault thing.”

“Still? It’s been almost two years - and you didn’t even do it! That’s such bullshit.”

“You know how it is.” He shrugs. “Stuff like that doesn’t just go away.”

Yeah, Ryuji knows, alright. He’s still got a label as a troublemaker at Shujin, and that’s  _ after  _ Kamoshida confessed to everything last year.

“Wish you coulda stayed in Tokyo.” Ryuji frowns. At the stove, Akira laughs.

“After graduation, I think I’m gonna move here.”

“To Tokyo in general? Or to Yongen specifically?”

“I guess either.” Akira stirs the pot of curry, staring down at its contents. If he still wore glasses, they’d surely be fogged up right now. The thought makes Ryuji snicker. “I’d like to live in Yongen, though.”

“What, plannin’ to take over Leblanc or something?” Ryuji teases, but he could see it happening.

“Sojiro already taught me his curry recipe and how to make coffee. Maybe I will.”

“I could see you runnin’ this place in a few years. It’d suit you.”

“You think?” He smiles a little. Ryuji really  _ does  _ think so. “Wouldn’t that be an unexpected twist: the leader of the Phantom Thieves running an old cafe in the backstreets of Yongen.” He looks wistful, something in his eyes that Ryuji can’t quite place. But the expression lasts only a moment. Before Ryuji can linger on it, Akira’s glancing up at him. “Can you get some plates for us?”

They sit across from each other at one of the tables to eat. It’s good to be here like this, Ryuji thinks. It’s good to be  _ together _ . Their group of friends comes by Leblanc often - due in part because of Futaba’s ties with the place, in part because they are all comfortable here, and in part because they know Boss will always welcome them. But it always feels a bit wrong to come in and not see Akira there, even after almost a year. Now that Akira’s back, though, it feels like a puzzle piece slotting into place. Everything seems normal in a way it doesn’t when he’s not around.

Idle chatter gives way to comfortable silence. Ryuji watches the big, puffy snowflakes falling slowly outside the frosty windows of the cafe. He fidgets with the yellow box in his pocket. Akira doesn’t know he brought chocolate with him. He doesn’t have to say anything about it. He can keep the candy hidden away in his pocket all night and never hand it over. Akira doesn’t have to know. He can go home later knowing his friendship with Akira is intact and unchanged, without embarrassing himself or otherwise making a fool of himself.

But that would mean going home without having been honest with Akira, and somehow that sounds worse than the mortification he feels when he imagines the rejection surely awaiting him if he goes through with this.

Ryuji Sakamoto is a lot of things - reckless, a little bit of a dumbass sometimes… but he’s not a coward. He’s faced a lot worse than anything this evening could throw at him. Hell, he spent the better part of a year battling hideous Shadows in the Metaverse. Compared to that, this should be nothing.

Still, when he tries to hand over the box of candy, he finds his hand frozen, clasped around the box but unable to take it out of his pocket. Once Akira’s seen the box, that’s it. No going back.

He stares at Akira; admires how the cozy light of the cafe falls over his sharp features, takes in the curl of his hair and those grey eyes Ryuji’s come to adore. He stares at Akira - the ‘dangerous’ transfer student; the leader of the Phantom Thieves; the guy who awakened to a Person to save Ryuji’s ass; Ryuji’s best friend and the person he trusts most in this world. He stares, remembering all the shit they’ve been through together, remembering all the times Akira’s been there for him, how they met at the station that day in the rain… and he knows he couldn’t possibly leave this cafe without telling Akira something he’s known for a long time now.

“I brought you something, actually.” He says, and he finally manages to make his hand move, placing the plain little box on the table. 

Akira looks at the box, expression neutral.

“A gift? For me? You shouldn’t have.” He starts, but the joke dies on his tongue when he notices Ryuji’s hands shaking.

“I, uh.” Ryuji’s gaze falls to the scuffed up tabletop, as if it’s more interesting than the confusion slowly beginning to spread across Akira’s pretty face. Everything is so  _ easy  _ with Akira, but this… this is hard. This is almost more than Ryuji can manage. “I made it myself.” He pushes the box across the table.

“Really? Thank you, Ryuji.” Akira gives him a big, genuine smile, tugging at the white ribbon tied around the box, until the bow it’s tied into loosens and falls apart. Ryuji wipes his sweaty palms on his pants.

Akira slides the lid off the box in total silence. Five pieces of chocolate sit nestled inside, and he spends a moment just looking at them. Across the table, Ryuji feels like he might combust; like an ant under a magnifying glass on a sunny day.

Slowly, Akira turns his eyes up to meet Ryuji’s. Ryuji looks away.

“Ryuji… is this a confession?” He asks, in an echo of their conversation last year when Ryuji’d given Akira a single piece of chocolate that a store clerk had given him.

It wasn’t a confession last year, but it should’ve been.

This year, it is.

“Yeah,” Ryuji croaks.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have anything to give you,” Akira says, fidgeting with the ribbon.

Ryuji’s heart sinks like a stone. Of course he doesn’t. Ryuji was a fool for thinking even for a moment that this might go differently.

“Don’t get the wrong idea!” Akira’s usual calm demeanor shifts, eyes going a bit wide. “That didn’t sound how I meant it. I’m not rejecting you. I’m sorry I don’t have a gift for you - if I’d known this was how tonight was going to go, I would’ve made you some chocolate, too.”

All Ryuji can do is gape at Akira.

“It’s… it’s fine, dude. I don’t need chocolate or anything.”

“That’s not the point. I want to give you something.”

Ryuji feels himself flush all the way to the tips of his ears.

“You can just get me somthin’ on White Day next month, then. Wait - does this make me the girl here?!”

Well, there goes the tension. Akira laughs, a bright sound that makes Ryuji’s heart flutter, and Ryuji can’t help but smile. This is good; it’s easy again. This is how it should always be, Ryuji thinks. His place is next to Akira, after all. He still believes that. This is how it is supposed to be: the two of them, side-by-side, just like they have been since they met that day in spring. He’s never been more certain of anything.

“We probably won’t see each other on White Day. I’ll mail you something.”

“You don’t actually have to.”

“I already said I wanted to. I’m getting you something, Ryuji, I’ve already made up my mind.” Akira nibbles a piece of chocolate from the box.

“I, uh, hope the candy’s ok.” Ryuji looks sheepishly at his own hands, resting on the old tabletop. “I had my mom help me make it.”

“Share with me?” Akira nudges the box towards his friend.

“What? Dude, I made it for you. Besides, there’s only like five pieces in there.”

“I know. But it’s my chocolate, and I’ve decided I want to share it with you.” He scoots over, patting the empty space on the booth next to him. “Get over here and share my Valentine’s day chocolate, dammit.”

Ryuji doesn’t make a habit of ignoring it when Akira asks him to do something, so of course he slides out of the booth he’d been sitting in and takes up the seat next to his friend.

“Can I ask you something, Ryuji?”

“Uh, sure, dude. What’s up?”

“You told me last year when you gave me chocolate that it wasn’t a confession. But this year it is. What changed?”

“Nothin’ really. Shoulda been a confession last year, I just didn’t have the guts.”

“That’s alright. I didn’t, either.”

“You’re really not turnin’ me down? Because I’m not jokin’ about this, you know.” Ryuji takes the chocolate Akira offers, watching the way their fingertips touch in the process of passing the candy between them.

Akira lets out a breathy little chuckle. “I didn’t think you were. Giving your best friend handmade candy on Valentine’s day doesn’t really seem much like a joke.” He fixes Ryuji with a steady gaze, warmth and happiness playing in his eyes. “I’m not joking either. I love you, Ryuji, and I mean that.”

Ryuji swallows hard. “Love you, too, man.”

“Well?” Akira kicks him under the table, raising his eyebrows. “Are you going to kiss me or not, then?”

Ryuji almost chokes on the chocolate he’s eating, spluttering and stammering for a moment. Akira, the little bastard, just laughs as Ryuji tries to regain his composure.

“I mean, can I?”

“Can you what? Kiss me?” Akira pushes some hair from his eyes, a devilish smile breaking across his face. “I wouldn’t have asked if I didn’t mean it.”

Ryuji leans across the booth, closing the miniscule space between them. The small kiss they share tastes like chocolate. Ryuji’s heart soars when he leans back and sees the spots of pale pink high on Akira’s cheeks; it dances and beats a heavy rhythm against his ribs when Akira rests one deft, soft hand on his face and follows up with his own tiny kiss on the corner of Ryuji’s mouth.

There was never another alternative. Everything that brought them together - every possible road they could’ve taken - he’s sure they would have ended up here no matter what. If they hadn’t gone into the palace, if they hadn’t worked together as Phantom Thieves… Ryuji still believes they’d have ended up like this. He would have fallen for Akira no matter what, he thinks, and that’s fine. That’s fine, it’s  _ perfect _ , he would never want it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> me: I wanna write angst  
> me: writes this by accident
> 
> Title from Ruse and The Caper by Coyote Theory


End file.
